


The Urgency of Now

by transdimensional_void



Series: I Know You Better Than You Fake It [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 90's Music, Angst, Awkward Conversations, Coming Out, Fluff, Goth!Dan, M/M, Mentions of STDs, Nerd!phil, Slightly sexy times, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-24 21:29:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4936009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transdimensional_void/pseuds/transdimensional_void
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Goth!Dan loves making out to music and Nerd!Phil is trying to figure out what it all means, feat. Phil's Mum</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Urgency of Now

When Daniel opened the door to him the following Friday, Phil was rendered speechless for a full ten seconds.

 

After spending nearly every day of the past week with the goth boy — except for Monday when he had a huge paper due and had to rush home from school to spend the next ten hours finishing it — Phil had thought he had grown accustomed to Daniel’s unusual choice of attire. 

 

While lying on his floor listening to everything from Bauhaus to Nine Inch Nails, Phil had stopped really noticing Daniel’s eyeshadow or the glossy black of his nails or his missing eyebrows. Especially after they’d made out to the rest of _Mellon Collie & the Infinite Sadness_, Phil had come to feel that the boy’s black lipstick was nothing noteworthy, even if it was a bit inconvenient. (He’d tried to make out with him during the rest of _Aenima_ too, but Daniel had refused point blank, saying that he needed to experience the album undistracted.)

 

Yet here he was, one week after meeting Daniel, stood at his front door with his mouth hanging open and outright staring at the other boy. He wasn’t sure if it was the long, black leather skirt he’d decided to wear or the fact that he’d twisted his long hair up into a knot on top of his head that shocked him more, but what had really left him at _point non plus_ was the sheer mesh shirt through which he could see everything, from Daniel’s belly button all the way up to the two silver rings adorning his nipples.

 

“Hi,” Daniel murmured through a smirk, and at last Phil came to his senses. “Wanna come in already?”

 

“Yeah, sure. Of course,” Phil said and tried not to blush when Daniel’s smirk deepened.

 

He followed the other boy up to his bedroom as usual. The house was still quiet as ever. He’d gotten up the courage to ask Daniel about that the day before and learned that he was an only child with parents who worked late every day. He’d left it at that, but Phil sensed he had a lot more to say on the matter. Maybe someday he’d decide to say it to Phil.

 

Phil hadn’t yet figured out if they were dating or together or really what they were, other than two people who couldn’t seem to get enough of each other.

 

Once in Daniel’s room, he watched as the other boy curled up on his bed with his feet beneath him and then patted the empty space beside him.

 

“Have you ever thought of dyeing your hair?” he asked when Phil had settled next to him, keeping a safe few inches of space between. He couldn’t help glancing over at Daniel again, his gaze catching at the tantalizing gleam of jewelry through his shirt. “I think it would look really good black.”

 

“Er, I haven’t thought of it, no,” Phil said, forcing his eyes up to meet Daniel’s. There was just a hint of purple mixed in with the black around his eyes today. “Are you sure you’re not just saying that because you want us to match?”

 

He heard a breath of laughter pass through the other boy’s nose.

 

“Phil, I don’t think any two people could look more different than you and me. No,” he said, and reached a hand up to fiddle with a few strands of Phil’s short hair, “it’s not that. You have really lovely hair. And I think black would suit your coloring.”

 

“Oh,” Phil said, wondering if there were such a thing as a micro-heatwave that could suddenly and drastically raise temperatures just around a single person’s body.

 

“Your skin is really pale and so are your eyes,” Daniel was continuing, leaning forward a bit to get a better look at Phil’s eye color. “Wearing black near them would make them stand out quite dramatically.”

 

“Would it?” Phil murmured, only giving half attention to what the other boy was saying. His eyes had drifted down to Daniel’s dark lips. He noted that he wasn’t wearing black on them today but rather a deep plum color. Unconsciously, he licked his lips.

 

“Just a minute!” Daniel suddenly said, his voice sounding loud so close to Phil’s face. Phil jumped. “I’ve got an idea.”

 

A moment later he was across the room searching through some things laid out on top of his dresser that Phil couldn’t really see. Phil would have been more curious about just what he was up to if the see-through shirt wasn’t giving him a veiled view of a black crow spreading its wings across one of Daniel’s shoulders. Their making out hadn't progressed to removing shirts yet (or anything, really, other than kissing), but he had the feeling that wouldn’t be true for very much longer.

 

Then Daniel was walking back over to the bed and climbing back up to where Phil still sat near the headboard. In his hand he held several items, including an eye pencil, a hand mirror, and what Phil guessed might be eyeshadow.

 

“I want to do your eyes,” Daniel said, dropping the items in front of Phil and peering into his face as though he were measuring it for something.

 

“You…what?” Phil said, swallowing a sudden nervousness. It was insane what the other boy’s nearness did to the steadiness of his heart rate.

 

“Don’t worry. You can wash it off before you go outside again, but I just want to see what it’d look like.” He reached out and picked up the black eye pencil again, holding it up and then giving Phil a wide-eyed stare. “Please?”

 

There was no way for Phil to resist the pleading in those golden-brown eyes, so a minute later found him with eyes squeezed shut while Daniel coaxed him through the application of the makeup.

 

“No, you have to relax your eyes or it won’t work properly,” Daniel murmured from somewhere very near.

 

“How am I supposed to relax when you’re about to stab me in the eye?”

 

“I promise I won’t stab you,” Daniel’s voice reassured him. “Just, take a deep breath and relax.”

 

Phil did as he was told, and a moment later he felt a light pressure along the edge of his eyelid. It irritated his skin a little, and it took all of his self-control not to scrunch his eyes up again. Daniel was silent the entire time, the only sound the barely-perceptible in and out of breath through his nose as he concentrated on lining Phil’s eyes.

 

“Are you done yet?” Phil said after what seemed like an eternity.

 

“Just a bit more,” he heard the other boy murmur. A few seconds later, the weird pressure on his eyelid finally disappeared and he tentatively opened one eye.

 

“Not yet,” Daniel immediately admonished him. Phil caught a glimpse of him setting down the eye pencil and picking up the plastic case of colors that he thought was eyeshadow. Then he closed his eyes again. After a moment, he felt something soft brushing against his eyelids. It was actually kind of a pleasant sensation, soothing almost. He felt his own breathing growing deeper as he entered a sort of trance-like state.

 

“All done,” Daniel said from somewhere far away, and Phil sighed. He let his eyelids flutter open.

 

Daniel was leaning back on his hands, evaluating his handiwork with pursed lips. At last, he gave a slow nod.

 

“Wanna see?” he asked.

 

Phil wasn’t sure he did. He guessed he’d look vaguely raccoon-like with the amount of eyeliner it felt like Daniel had applied. Nevertheless, he nodded, and the other boy held up the mirror at a good enough distance that he could get the full effect.

 

There was a lot of black around his eyes, but he was startled to see that Daniel had added a line of shimmering gold at the edges of the black as well. His eyes had turned a shocking shade of blue that he’d never seen in them before.

 

“Wow. Cool,” he murmured, turning side to side to see the makeup from every angle. “My eyes look really different.”

 

The mirror lowered then, and he found Daniel staring at him, purple lips slightly parted. Suddenly, his heart was racing again.

 

“They’re beautiful,” Daniel said, and Phil could feel the heat racing up the back of his neck. A moment later, Daniel’s lips were pressed against his and he was pushing him down against the pillows. Phil was on the verge of completely forgetting about the makeup and everything else in the world when Daniel pulled back.

 

“What’s wrong?” Phil asked.

 

“It’s too quiet,” he muttered in reply, and before Phil could catch his breath to tell him not to be silly, Daniel had slid off the bed and started rummaging through his CD collection again. He was back less than a minute later, and something with a frantic beat and in a minor key that he later learned was The Cure’s album _Pornography_ started playing.

 

He didn’t end up taking off Daniel’s shirt that afternoon, but the other boy let his fingers explore what everything beneath it felt like, and when Daniel’s hand slipped down the front of his jeans he spent several minutes convinced that he’d died and gone to heaven.

 

As always, Phil was very meticulous about removing all of Daniel’s lipstick from the various places it hand ended up before leaving for home. (A little of it had stained his t-shirt on Tuesday, but it was a small enough amount that he didn’t think anyone had noticed.) It wasn’t until he passed his mum in the front hall and saw the startled expression on her face that he remembered the eye makeup.

 

“Phil?” she said, pulling up short in front of him. “Are you wearing eyeshadow?”

 

_Crap crap crap crap crap_ went Phil’s internal monologue.

 

“Oh, yeah. Ha ha.” He aimed for nonchalance. “I was at my friend’s house and we thought it would be funny to see what it looked like. I, er, guess I forgot to wash it off.”

 

His mother’s eyes narrowed.

 

“A friend, is it?” she asked. Before he could answer, she added, “Is this the same friend who left lipstick on your shirt the other day?”

 

Phil’s face felt like it was on fire.

 

“Er, oh, yeah, erm,” he mumbled.

 

His mother nodded and crossed her arms over her chest, and he could almost hear her thinking, _I knew it!_

 

“What’s her name?” she asked, and Phil’s stomach felt like it was falling through the floor.

 

He’d never discussed the topic of his sexuality with his parents, mostly because he’d decided he was doomed to eternal singleness and assumed it would never come up. He honestly had no idea what his parents thoughts were on the topic of boys dating other boys, but he considered them reasonable people…for the most part, at least. Might as well bite the bullet and tell her the truth.

 

“His name is Daniel,” Phil said, and unknowingly began to chew his lip. He watched her face, sweat prickling all across his back.

 

Her eyebrows lowered and her mouth dropped open a little, and he cringed. _Crap_. But then she straightened out her expression into a smile.

 

“Okay. Are you going to bring him over sometime so I can meet him?”

 

Phil almost audibly sighed with the relief that flooded his body.

 

“Er, I can ask him over…sometime,” Phil said.

 

She nodded, her eyes studying his expression for a moment.

 

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide your relationships from me, dearest,” she said after a moment. “And I want to make sure he’s someone I would approve of.”

 

All of Phil’s nervousness rushed back as he pictured his mother meeting Daniel, leather skirt, nipple piercings and all.

 

“He’s, erm, a little different, Mum,” he mumbled, resisting the urge to reach up and scratch the itchy heat at the nape of his neck.

 

“I would suppose so, if he’s been getting lipstick on your collar,” she agreed, and he could see the amusement behind her eyes. Wow, his mum was so much more laid back than he’d ever realized. Maybe it was just because he was eighteen now and would be leaving for university in a few months, but he didn’t remember her ever being so cool about anything before. Or maybe it was just that he’d never done anything interesting enough to warrant her needing to be cool about it.

 

“Just, don’t judge him on his appearance, okay? He just likes to look a certain way, but he’s really amazing and clever, and just…” Phil stopped, feeling so embarrassed by the conversation that he almost couldn’t talk anymore. “I like him a lot.”

 

He could see little tears at the corners of his mum’s eyes, and he knew she was about to say something so sappy he would want to die, so he hurried to add,

 

“I’ll see when he’s free. Er, thanks, Mum.” He leaned in and gave her a quick hug, which she held for quite a bit longer than he was really comfortable with, but he let her have it. As soon as she let him go, he backed away and hurried off upstairs, mumbling something about homework.

 

 

On Saturday, Daniel was away practicing with his band for most of the day. (They were called “Lucid Sex Dreams,” and Daniel described their music as “post-industrial ethereal metal.”) He’d told Phil he could come over in the evening, though, so Phil showed up at his door promptly at 6:00.

 

They’d been lying on Daniel’s bed for at least half an hour, talking about Daniel’s band and the show they were playing the next day and Phil’s upcoming mock exams and how nervous he was about them, when Phil finally got up the courage to ask.

 

“So…my mum wants to meet you,” he said. They were both lying on their backs, staring up at Daniel’s bare black ceiling.

 

“Really?” Phil couldn’t see the other boy’s face, but he thought he detected a note of disbelief in the word.

 

“Yeah, so yesterday we kind of forgot to take off the eye makeup—“

 

“Oh, shit,” Daniel laughed.

 

“Yeah,” Phil agreed. “So, I kind of told her about you, and she wants you to come over sometime so she can meet you.”

 

Phil heard a rustling sound, and he turned his head to the right to see that Daniel had rolled over to look at him.

 

“I can say no, if you need an excuse for why I couldn’t come over,” Daniel murmured. “I can be too busy.”

 

“What?” Phil blinked. “No, I want you to come over. I mean, not that I don’t like hanging out here, but I thought maybe I could show you, erm, my place…and stuff.”

 

The other boy’s smooth, pale brow wrinkled up, the thin black lines of his eyebrows drawing together.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Phil nodded, a little confused at Daniel’s response.

 

“I mean, if you just want to show me your house or whatever, I can come over when your parents are out or something.” For the first time since he’d met him, Phil saw apprehension in Daniel’s expression.

 

“It’s really fine,” Phil said, sitting up to get a better look at the other boy. “I already told her all about you. She just wants to meet you is all.”

 

“What did you tell her?” The goth boy’s expression had progressed from apprehensive to anxious. Phil had no idea what was going on.

 

“Just that you were a little different and, erm, that I like you a lot.” He kind of mumbled the last part, but it was still intelligible enough.

 

Daniel’s eyes lowered and fixed on the dark bedspread between them.

 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he said, his voice very soft. “I’m not really the kind of person that parents get excited for their kid to bring home with them, you know?”

 

Phil bit both of his lips as he tried to think of what to say to that. He would be lying if he claimed he didn’t know what Daniel meant, but he wanted to have faith in his parents that they wouldn’t just write Daniel off because of how he chose to dress. Of course, if they did, then he’d give them a good telling off for it, but seeing the way the other boy’s usually quite bold eyes stayed fixed on the duvet instead of meeting his, he thought that maybe it was better not to put Daniel through that.

 

“I’ve never brought anyone home before,” Phil said at last. “Honestly, I think my parents are just glad that I’m bringing anyone home at all. But, I mean… If you don’t want to, I understand.”

 

Daniel flopped back down onto the bed then, turning over on his back to stare up at the ceiling. Phil lay down beside him, close but not touching. Darkness had completely fallen outside now, but they hadn’t bothered to turn on a light yet, and Phil noticed for the first time that Daniel had painted constellations and swirling galaxies on his ceiling in green glow-in-the-dark paint. He waited to see if the other boy had anything more to say, but after a while it became pretty obvious that he didn’t.

 

“You want to come over Monday after school?” Phil said at last. “My mum has this ladies club thing she goes to then, and my dad doesn’t usually get home from work until late.”

 

“I don’t go to school or anything, you know,” Daniel said suddenly into the darkness. “I quit after secondary school.”

 

“Yeah, I figured,” Phil said. He’d put two and two together after noticing Daniel’s lack of homework or school books and the fact that, when not at band practice or smoking outside the record store where he worked, he was almost always home. “That doesn’t make any difference to me, you know. In case you thought it did.”

 

“It’ll probably make a difference to your parents,” Daniel murmured.

 

“They’re really not like that,” Phil said.

 

“They may say they don’t care,” Daniel continued, almost as though Phil hadn’t spoken, “but I’d bet you anything they won’t be happy about you having a boyfriend who isn’t planning to go to uni.”

 

“I’m sure they—“ Phil started but then stopped as his brain processed the rest of what Daniel had said. “Wait, are you my boyfriend then?”

 

He couldn’t see Daniel anymore, but he heard the offended breath he huffed out through his nose.

 

“I bloody hope so,” he said. “Or do you think I’m the sort who puts his hand down just any boy’s pants?”

 

“Shut up!” Phil laughed and then climbed on top of his boyfriend and kissed him for a while under the light of glow-in-the-dark stars.

 

 

The next day, Phil slept in late and didn’t make it down to breakfast until mid-morning. When he at last showed up in the kitchen, still in his pajamas, he found his mother sat at the table thumbing through a novel.

 

“Good morning, glory,” she hummed without looking up from her book. “You were out late last night. Were you with that Daniel boy?”

 

Phil wasn’t sure he was quite up to this conversation so close to waking up, so he just nodded and mumbled a vague affirmation and made his way over to the counter.

 

“Did you talk to him about coming over sometime?” she pressed. He was in the middle of pulling out the milk and a bowl for some cereal, so he worked on pouring his cereal while he tried to think of what to tell her. Finally, he decided to take a gamble on the truth.

 

“He’s kind of scared to meet you,” he said, his back still to her as he put the milk away in the fridge again. “He doesn’t think you’ll approve of him.”

 

When he turned toward the table at last, he saw that his mum had set her book down and was leveling a serious gaze at him. He walked over, setting down his cereal and pulling out a chair, wondering how he was going to eat with his stomach clenched so tight.

 

“Why does he think that?” she asked, her tone careful.

 

“Well, like I told you before, he dresses a bit different,” Phil said, lifting a bite of cereal to his mouth and chewing it, mostly to buy himself time. “Plus he isn’t going to university.”

 

“Oh?” she said. “Why not?”

 

He shrugged. He hadn’t actually asked, though he’d gotten the sense that school hadn’t really been Daniel’s thing.

 

“He’s really into music,” Phil said through a mouthful of cereal. “He’s in a band. I think he wants to try to pursue that.” Daniel hadn’t exactly told him this, but it seemed likely enough from what he knew of him so far. “Anyway,” he rushed on, seeing the gears turning in his mother’s mind as she processed this new information, “we only just started seeing each other a week ago, and I think he might be more comfortable waiting a little longer to meet parents and stuff.”

 

He could tell his mother wasn’t fully satisfied with this answer, but she took a deep breath and nodded.

 

“All right, then,” she said, picking up her book again. “Just let him know he’s welcome here any time.”

 

“I will,” Phil said, shoveling more cereal into his mouth before she could ask any further questions.

 

He didn’t go over to Daniel’s that day. Daniel was going to be busy all day getting ready for his show in the evening. Phil had debated whether or not to ask if he could go. He didn’t know if he was allowed to, considering… Well, considering the fact that he wasn’t exactly a part of the band’s usual fanbase. If he was honest with himself, the idea of it kind of terrified him. In the end, he hadn’t found the courage to ask, but then again, Daniel hadn’t suggested it himself either.

 

So, the next time he saw Daniel was on Monday, when he turned the corner to find him leaning against the brick wall of the record store finishing a cigarette. Today’s outfit was a long-sleeved black shirt with black lace at the throat, combat boots, and glossy black vinyl trousers that were so tight they looked painted on.

 

“Perfect timing,” Daniel said as he stubbed out the end of his cigarette on the brick sill of the shop window. “Shall we?”

 

As they made their way down the street toward Phil’s neighborhood, they chatted about Phil’s day at school and Daniel’s show the night before. He kept going over every little mistake he thought he’d made in his performance, but when Phil pressed he said it had been a pretty decent show. The audience had been receptive was how he put it.

 

When they reached Phil’s place, though, Daniel fell silent. It wasn’t until after Phil had slotted his key into the front door and led him into the hall that Daniel at last stopped, staring around, and said,

 

“Your house is really nice.”

 

“Is it?” Phil glanced around too, trying to see the familiar walls through the other boy’s eyes. He thought of Daniel’s house, cramped and dark and empty. “Well, thanks,” he said, “You want a drink or something.”

 

Daniel shook his head, so Phil shrugged and led the way into the family room. He turned and caught sight of Daniel giving the stairs a longing gaze. He hadn’t thought much of it before, but it now occurred to him that when he was over at the other boy’s house, they always went straight up to his room. He’d never been anywhere else in the house, other than the toilet.

 

“I’ll show you my room later,” Phil assured him as he plopped down on the sofa and rubbed the empty space next to him invitingly.

 

“Yeah, you will,” Daniel said, raising one eyebrow and quirking up one side of his mouth. Phil bit his lip, and for just a moment he was tempted to cast all his plans for the afternoon aside, grab Daniel’s hand, and drag him straight upstairs. He suppressed the urge, though, and after a moment the other boy joined him on the couch.

 

When he’d gotten settled, Phil picked up the remote, flicked on the TV, and then handed Daniel a game controller for the N64.

 

“I hope you don’t expect me to let you win at Mario Kart just because we’re dating,” Daniel said as Phil leaned forward off the couch to slide the game cartridge in.

 

“You know how to play Mario Kart?” he asked, turning an incredulous gaze on the other boy.

 

“What, you think goths can’t play video games?” Daniel scoffed. “Wow, be a little more open-minded, Phil.”

 

“It’s not that!” Phil rushed to say, “I just…didn’t see any games at your place, so I just thought…”

 

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” Daniel clicked his tongue and shook his head. “Making assumptions is dangerous.”

 

This proved to be even truer than Phil knew, as Daniel proceeded to defeat him five times in a row. At last, Phil gave up trying to win and suggested they switch over to the PS1 and play Final Fantasy VII instead. Daniel teased him for being a sore loser for a few minutes, but after a while he got absorbed into watching Phil move Cloud through the world of the game. It wasn’t long before Daniel was barraging him with questions.

 

“So, why is your character’s hair so…erect?” Daniel asked, probably his tenth question in as many minutes.

 

“Okay,” Phil said at last, pausing the game and turning to the boy beside him. “Have you never played Final Fantasy before?”

 

Daniel shook his head, looking a little sheepish.

 

“I don’t know anyone who owns a Play Station, or at least, I didn’t used to,” he muttered.

 

“You should’ve told me before we started,” Phil scolded him, “I would’ve started over at the beginning. I’ve already finished the game before.”

 

“It’s all right,” Daniel said, shifting around a bit on the couch. “I’m enjoying just watching you.”

 

“Yeah, but you have no idea what’s going on,” Phil said, dropping the controller in his lap and turning to face the other boy. “Okay, so the main character is Cloud, and he’s in this group calledAVALANCHE—“

 

Phil’s words were interrupted by the clicking sound of keys in the front door. Both boys froze, and he saw Daniel’s eyes grow frighteningly wide.

 

“Crap,” Phil muttered, reaching over and switching off the game console and TV as fast as he could. He had some idea that maybe they could escape upstairs before his mum made it inside, but it was already too late. Even as he was jumping up from the couch and reaching for Daniel’s arm, his mum popped her head around the door of the family room with a grin on her face.

 

“I’m home earl— Oh. You have a guest over.”

 

All Phil could do was stand there looking back and forth between his mother’s eyes wide with curiosity and Daniel’s wide with panic.

 

“Well, aren’t you going to introduce me, Phil?” his mother prompted at last, pushing the door further open and stepping into the room.

 

“Oh,” Phil said, “Mum, this is Daniel. Daniel, this is my mum. Mum, can I see you in the kitchen for just a second?”

 

He watched as her eyes flicked over the goth boy, sitting with his back straight and stiff on the edge of the couch. Then she looked back at him and gave him a smile.

 

“Sure. I’ll just wait for you there, then?”

 

He gave her a single, jerky nod, and she disappeared around the door again. He turned at once to Daniel, who was standing up from the couch, his eyes still wide and dazed.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Phil spluttered. “She didn’t tell me she’d be coming home early. I’m really sorry.”

 

“I think I should go,” Daniel said in a strangled voice and then made good on his words by striding over to the door.

 

“You don’t have to,” Phil spluttered, trying to keep up with the speed with which the other boy was trying to get out of his house. “If you want to just wait in my room, I can ask her not to bother us.”

 

“No, it’s fine. I should get home now anyway. It’s getting late—“ And with that, Daniel flung open his front door and practically ran through it… Or he would have run if his tight trousers hadn’t made it impossible to move at anything more than a brisk walk.

 

“Okay. See you tomorrow!” Phil called out to his boyfriend’s retreating back. He saw Daniel lift one hand in acknowledgement as he reached the road, but he didn’t so much as glance back as he hurried toward the exit of Phil’s neighborhood.

 

Phil let out a long, frustrated sigh as he turned back inside and made his way into the kitchen. He found his mum stood at the stove, pulling a boiling kettle off the burner. He saw that she’d already set out two mugs for tea. So, it was going to be a long talk, was it? No point in avoiding it, now that Daniel had gone. He pulled out a chair and took a seat, waiting while she poured water into the mugs and then made her way over to the table.

 

“So that was Daniel?” she said, setting a mug before him and pulling out a chair of her own. “Did he leave, then?”

 

“Yeah, I think you kind of spooked him,” Phil said, noting with a smile that she’d remembered to add milk and sugar to his tea just the way he liked. “I’d told him you wouldn’t be back until much later.”

 

“Sorry about that.” She offered him a brief smile before taking a cautious sip of her tea. She was never patient enough to wait for it to finish steeping. As he watched, her expression turned to a grimace, and he knew she’d burned her tongue yet again. “My group got canceled today. If you’d told me you were having him over, I could have gone to the shops or something instead.”

 

“I, er,” Phil ran one finger around the rim of his mug, “I didn’t know if you’d like me bringing him over when you weren’t around, so…”

 

“Phil,” she set her mug down and gave him the mum look, “I told you he is welcome here any time.”

 

“I know,” Phil muttered. He knew she’d said that. He just hadn’t really believed her. He wasn’t sure he did now, the way she was measuring him out of the corner of one eye.

 

“He seemed rather pretty,” she ventured, “from what little I saw of him, of course.”

 

Phil didn’t have any good response to that, so he just lifted his mug to his lips and took a long, scalding slurp of tea.

 

“I hope you’re being safe,” she said after a moment, and Phil accidentally inhaled some of his tea.

 

The next several minutes were spent in him coughing and spluttering and his eyes watering while his mum patted him on the back.

 

“Oh my god, Mum,” he finally managed to get out. “We aren’t even— I mean, I don’t even know if we— Oh my god.”

 

“Well, even if you aren’t thinking ahead that far, I can assure you that your mother worries about these kinds of things,” she said, giving him an arch look and then sipping her tea. When she’d set it down again, she added, “Just promise me you’ll be as careful as possible.”

 

“ _Mum_ ,” he groaned, “I had Sex Ed in high school, okay? I know all about using protection or whatever.”

 

“Do you?” she asked pointedly, meeting his eyes with a gaze so direct he felt his whole face heat up with absolute mortification. “Look, dearest,” she sighed. “I may have told a little fib about my group being canceled today. Here,” and as she spoke, she reached down to her purse and pulled out a handful of glossy brochures, which she slid across the table to him. “I don’t know what all they teach you at school, but I doubt they teach you nearly as much as you need to know. I went to the clinic today and got these for you. Just read them. And tell me if there’s anything you have a question about. I don’t know much about…” She glanced up at him, cleared her throat, and then soldiered on, “but, you know, we can learn together.”

 

Phil was so done with this conversation that he couldn't even finish his tea. He was eighteen years old. He was, in society’s eyes at least, an adult. And yet here he was being given the sex talk by his mother, like a ten-year-old. Still, somewhere deep down, some part of him that he wasn’t yet calm enough to acknowledge, was really grateful to her for this. He knew this conversation probably wasn’t any more comfortable for her than it was for him.

 

“I’ll read them,” he managed to choke out, grabbing up the brochures without even glancing at the titles. “May I be excused now?”

 

“Just one more thing,” his mum said, reaching out and placing a hand on his wrist when he made to get up. “Please tell Daniel I’m sorry I showed up out of the blue and that I want to meet him properly whenever he’s ready.”

 

Phil nodded.

 

“Thanks,” he murmured and then finally stood and escaped upstairs to his bedroom.

 

He read all of the brochures cover-to-cover three times that evening. There was some eye-opening information in them, and now that his mother was no longer sat at the table across from him, he was able to feel really and truly grateful to her for getting them for him. He realized, with a pang of shame, that he would never have been brave enough to get them for himself. Maybe someday, twenty or thirty years from now, he would actually be able to thank her properly.

 

 

On Tuesday, Phil debated whether or not he should just show up at Daniel’s house as normal or whether he should call first. Daniel had given Phil his phone number the first day they’d met, scribbling it on the back of his hand in red pen literally as Phil was walking out the door. Phil had yet to actually try calling it, though. So far it hadn’t been necessary, as they’d been meeting up at the same time and place almost every day.

 

Ultimately, he decided to just show up. It’s not like he’d done anything wrong, and he didn’t think the other boy was angry or upset with him.

 

When Daniel answered the door, Phil found himself dumbfounded yet again. The goth boy was topless, with his hair loose over his shoulders, no makeup on his face, and a pair of black pajama bottoms covering his lower half. Phil couldn’t help observing he’d switched his silver rings out for bars. It was the most dressed-down Phil had ever seen him.

 

“Hey,” Phil said, offering him a tentative smile. “Can I come in?”

 

Daniel blinked, seeming surprised.

 

“Yeah, of course,” he snorted, reaching out and pulling Phil inside by the arm. The minute the door was closed behind them, Daniel was pushing him up against the wall and dropping kisses all along his neck. “I kind of missed you,” he breathed against Phil’s skin, “Even if it’s been less than a day.”

 

Phil did his best to form a cogent response, but Daniel’s hands had snaked around to his lower back and were slipping ever further south.

 

“Come on,” he said after a moment, taking hold of Phil’s arm again and all but dragging him upstairs.

 

Once upstairs, Daniel walked him over to the bed and pulled him down beside him and renewed his vigorous exploration of Phil’s face and neck with his lips. Only a minute in, he was pulling off Phil’s t-shirt and casting it aside, and Phil’s mind was racing, trying to catch up with what was happening.

 

“Wait,” Phil breathed against Daniel’s lips as he felt his hands sneaking down to his hips again. “Wait. Just a minute.”

 

Daniel pulled back, crouching over him and propping himself up with one hand on either side of Phil’s shoulders.

 

“What?” he asked, gazing down at Phil with confusion writ large upon his face.

 

Phil stared up at him, trying to gather his thoughts. He’d come here with a purpose, he remembered now. He wanted to talk to Daniel, to discuss things with him. With his face so close now, Phil noticed that he looked very different without his makeup: pinker and softer, more vulnerable.

 

“Can we just, er, talk for a minute?”

 

The boy bent over him blinked a couple of times, but then he sat back, scooting up against the headboard and waving a hand toward the empty side of the bed. Phil crawled up and leant against the pillows, turning so he could fix his eyes on the other boy’s face.

 

“I wanted to say that I’m really sorry if my mum startled you yesterday,” he said, keeping careful watch on Daniel’s face to see the effect his words had on him. “She didn’t know you were going to be there.”

 

“It’s okay,” Daniel said, the corners of his mouth lifting in what Phil guessed was meant to be a smile. The expression looked far too tense, though, to truly be one. “I just…wasn’t expecting her.”

 

“She wanted me to tell you that she’s sorry for showing up out of the blue, but she’d still like to meet you properly sometime…whenever you’re ready to do that.”

 

Phil’s boyfriend’s eyes widened at that, and his pink lips opened in a soft “oh.”

 

“She would?” he murmured. Phil still couldn’t quite grasp why that seemed so surprising to the other boy, but at least he finally seemed to be accepting it.

 

“Yep,” Phil said, gritting his teeth to say the next part. “Also, er, she gave me these brochures to read that she got from the clinic, and,” he pulled out the brochures, creased from being shoved down his back pocket and quickly slid them over onto Daniel’s bedside table, “I think you should look at them sometime, er, when you have some time.” He swallowed hard, knowing his entire face must have gone scarlet.

 

Daniel’s lips had closed and one of his eyebrows had risen, or rather, it would have risen if it hadn’t been shaved completely off.

 

“What kind of brochures?” he asked, eyes wide. His expression looked innocent enough, but Phil had the sneaking suspicion he was being laughed at.

 

“Just, about, like…safe sex and stuff,” he rushed to say and then cleared his throat several times. “I mean, I don’t even know if you want to—“

 

“I want to,” Daniel told him, his expression just as calm and innocent as ever.

 

“Oh,” Phil said, suddenly aware of the very loud pounding of his heartbeat in his ears. “I, er…good.”

 

At that, Daniel finally tilted his chin back and let out a full, long laugh. Phil could only lie there in utter mortification while his boyfriend laughed his head off at him.

 

“Oh my god, Phil, you’re such a nerd,” he wheezed when he’d finally regained enough of his composure. “But it’s kind of adorable.”

 

“I’m not a baby,” Phil said, frowning. “I’m just—“

 

“A virgin?” Daniel asked, still grinning at him. Fuck, he was really beautiful, shaved eyebrows or no.

 

“Yeah.” Phil’s tone was defensive, and he felt his shoulders hunching up.

 

“Yeah, me too.” Daniel’s grin had transformed into something almost like a shy smile.

 

“Really?” Phil had said before he could think better of it.

 

“God, don’t look so surprised,” Daniel retorted, rolling his eyes.

 

“Sorry,” Phil muttered. “You just seem so…” He stopped, realizing the sentence was going nowhere good.

 

“Well, I’m not,” Daniel said when Phil couldn’t find anything else to say. “Don’t worry. I’ll read your STD pamphlets or whatever, and we can go down to the clinic and get tested together before we do anything.”

 

“But… Ahem. Okay,” Phil replied in a very small voice. “So… Can we make out now?”

 

Instead of saying yes, Daniel just reached over and took hold of both of his shoulders and pulled him down into a kiss. Phil was that close before Daniel pushed him away again and sat up.

 

“Nooo,” Phil groaned, knowing only too well what was happening.

 

“I’ll be just a second,” Daniel called over his shoulder, already rummaging around for just the right mood music.

 

When the angry guitar riffs of _Evil Empire_ began to fill the room, Phil couldn’t help rolling his eyes, but a moment later Daniel was back, and in the end, Phil had to admit that Rage Against the Machine hadn’t been a bad choice at all.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Written in response to an anonymous prompt on tumblr. Originally posted on tumblr.


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